Pregnancy in the North and South

Even though several people warned me that once you hit the Masson/Dixon line it's like a different world, when I was preparing to move to Ohio, I never really thought there would be much of a difference between it and Kentucky. After all, they are only separated by a little water. I have lived south of Kentucky in Tennessee, Florida, and Gorgia. Those 4 states are simular enough, how different could one state up be? Was I in for an awakening? Heck even living in foreign countries is more like living in Kentucky when compared to Ohio. Things that are considered normal or kind in the south (and many other parts of the word) are invasions of privacy and rude here. Don't get me wrong, it's not all bad. There are some things that are definitely better in Ohio. Here are my major comparisons, keep in mind this is only the items that stand out for pregnancy. The girls were born in the south, and the boys either were or will soon be born in the north.

Touching. In the South people were always touching my pregnant self. Most generally in my belly region.  I have to say, it would get annoying sometimes. When pregnant with Nia, I was washing my hands in a public restroom when an older women put her arms around me from behind to rub my belly. NOT FUN! On the other hand, in the North, pregnant or not it is extremely rare anyone touches me period. Even my closest friends up here wouldn't dare put their hand on my pregnant belly. If you would have told me this after the hand washing incident, I would have been thrilled. A few nights ago I actually found myself crying about the lack of touching though. I got used to people touching me when pregnant with the girls. The people doing the touching are always thrilled and have a big smile. Being pregnant is stressful, constant happy touching helps a lot with that.

Advice. There is just something about pregnancy that seems to encourage even the most timid people to give you their opinion. On parenting. On sex. On what you should and shouldn't do while pregnant. You get the idea. It still happens up here in the North, just not as much. Also, if your really obvious about not wanting to hear an opinion, a northerner will generally shut up about it. A southerner, well, they are going to give you their opinion until they think you have adopted it.

Heat. It's a lot hotter in the south, obviously. The girls were born in Tennessee and Kentucky. Where we lived in Kentucky is generally about 20 degrees warmer than where we live now in Ohio. Pregnancy and heat don't mix. Although, it does make watermelon taste so much better.

Hospitality. The south is known the world over for hospitality, people just do things for you. If your pregnant they do even more. I never carried anything, opened a door for myself in public, or had to look for a spot to sit in the south while pregnant. Here, I've carried groceries into the house while my neighbor sat on his front porch. A simular situation in the south would have had a neighbor griping at me for going to the grocery alone in my condition while he carried in all the groceries for me.

Tea. You can get a fabulas glass of iced tea in the south anywhere you go. It's the easiest thing in world to make, Petra can do it and I'd bet with a little help even little Troy could manage the task. But somehow, it just doesn't seem to work out for the restaurants that try to make tea up here. With the gestational diabetes I don't get it sweetened, but a southern girl REALLY needs her tea if she goes out to eat.

Men. Men in south are not expected to do much as far as the dirty work with kids and the home. My friends always considered me really lucky because John does do stuff, a lot of stuff actually. He feels he should do an equal amount being half the parental unit. This isn't always the case down south. Several men don't do much if anything at all at home and laugh at the guys that do. In the North this would be really frowned upon. People get divorced for this up here.

Free Stuff. There is so much free stuff for pregnant women in the south it's crazy. I have to wonder if it's because the south has a much higher poverty level. Birthing classes, always free. If you show up, more free stuff. From car seats, to diapers, to high chairs, if you need something for your coming baby in the south, you can probably find an organization or state funded entity giving it away. Not the case up here in the north. Enfamil and similac will each send you a free sample. Huggies and pampers, 1 free diaper and 10 wipes each. That's about it when it comes to freebees in the North.

Visiting. People have a tendency to just pop in down South. If someone drove by your house and you were home. Instant company. This doesn't happen at all in the North. People don't go out their way to drive by your house and most wouldn't dare dropping by without calling first. Funny, in the south it can be considered rude not to drop by someone's house if your in their neck of the woods where the opposite it true here. I wouldn't have known about this etiquette rule had I not had a friend with a northern mother growing up. People popping in for no reason, without calling drove her crazy and I did it all of the time.

Medical Care. With Nia, I'm fairly sure now I had gestational diabetes. I gained about 90 pounds and was over the top moody. I was never tested for it though.  Otherwise, I have to at least say the doctor was nice. With Anara's pregnancy I remember handing my mid-wife a birthing plan. She laughed at me. Also with Anara, I was told I asked way to many questions and if I wanted to talk about an idea, a procedure, or a treatment I had read about, I generally got a eye roll before being told that it just didn't happen outside the big city.  I would have happily went elsewhere, but the next nearest doctor or mid-wife was another 45 minutes away (which put them about 75 minutes from my house). In the North with Cameron and my current pregnancy, my OB (his website) is fabulas! He asks me at least once each visit if I have questions and is more than happy to answer them. He also always makes sure I have all the information I could possibly want or need. He and everyone in his office is also very nice, caring, and supportive.

Delivery. With both the girls, I wasn't allowed to get out of bed once I got to the hospital. With Anara, there were even tie downs attached the bed when I arrived and I was told that if I got to out of hand, they would be used. When the girls came out, I got one look and they were whisked away to the nursery for measuring, testing, and cleaning. With Troy, much different experience. As far as deliveries go, I would even describe it as enjoyable. There was a large tub, exercise ball, and anything else I could have possibly wanted to use while in labor or during the birth in my room. I was encouraged to get out of bed. I had three nurses and one was with me nearly the entire time just incase I wanted to send her to get something for me. One nurse seemed to be there just to massage my back, help me relax through the contractions, and give me words of encouragement. I held Cam for 3 hours before I decided to have him cleaned up. Which happened in the delivery room and then John got to hold him.

So, to sum it up, through this pregnancy and Cameron's I was really homesick. More so with this one. It feels a little lonely being pregnant up here to me. However, the difference in care from the medical community during pregnancy, delivery, and after has been worth the loneliness.

28 Days left of Pregnancy

I can hardly believe how small that number is getting. Only 28 days left before the official due date. I have hit that point when pregnancy insomnia kicks in. You know the mark of being so uncomfortable it's hard to sleep AND when finally manage to sleep it only means that you will need to get up and pee soon. I'm the last one to bed and the first one up most days. My new early morning schedule has Anara thrilled or annoyed depending on the day. She is generally the first one up in our house and I think has come to really enjoy and need that pinch of alone time.

Aside from some back pain, I'm actually feeling leaps and bounds beter at this point in my pregnancy than I did in the earlier stages. I haven't blacked out in several weeks and my heart feels a lot better, so I have taken myself off the total rest that my cardiologist put me on. I'm still taking it really easy, but I have added cooking to my daily schedule and I'm leaving the house for more than just doctor visits and church. Previously just taking a shower was exasperating, but now I'm feeling normal. Well, as normal as one can feel 36 weeks pregnant. I have a doctor's appointment today, and I will finish this post afterwards.

Well, it's later in the day. The appointment went well, but there is a high probability it will be a little less than 28 days. Heading to the doctor this morning, John and I hit drizzly rush hour traffic. Which made getting to the doctor take well over an hour. I wasn't even sure they would see me when I got there I was so late. I got right in to the doctor. He measured my tummy and checked my cervix. 2 cm dilated!! Next to the sonogram. Our little guy is weighing in at about 7 pounds (which is about the 70th to 75th percentile). A measure of the amnionic fluid revealed that it is a little lower than what my doctor would like to see. After the sonogram, the technician wanted me to see the doctor again to talk about the low fluid level. Apparently, it could be slowly leaking out. If I don't hit an active phase of labor by Tuesday, I will go back for another ultra sound. If the fluid levels haven't increased then the next step is induction.

Ok, here is the weird part. Since Nia was born 13 years ago, the  last 2 deliveries were induced, and I went into false labor about a hundred times with Cameron (well, maybe not that many times, but it sure seemed that way), I've been praying my water would break so that I would definitely know I am in labor. It's possible my water broke when Cam jumped on me about 3 weeks ago, I've had really strong contractions since. I should really consider being more specific with my prayers, this really isn't what I had in mind.

I was really hoping not to be induced. I don't do epidurals. With induction the actual delivery feels about the same, but it's mind blowing how much more painful labor is. With Cam the labor was much worse than the delivery. I also don't want to deliver before Tuesday, that is actually the earliest day my mom-in-law can get here. Oh, and 1 more thing, 2 of my dear friends have a baby shower scheduled for me the following Sunday. Everything will all work out in the end, and it's not like I have any control over the mater. At any rate, this time next week my stress level will be lower. Either because I have new baby OR because I'm still waiting for him.

Health Update

I have great news to update you about my health. I mentioned a couple of post ago about being on doctor ordered rest and feeling like the walking dead. To make a long story short  I was having a few issues with my heart that was being exaggerated by not being able to get enough of certain nutrients into my body. It was causing me to black out several times a day and generally fell absolutely horrid. I was talking to my chiropractor about the whole thing and he suggested taking pro-biotics. He said people with celiacs (which I have not been diagnosed with, but do have wheat issues) should take them for about a month so their stomachs will be able to absorb all the nutrients it can. For kids and women that pregnant or nursing he recommended Activa yogurt twice a day. Others he recommends taking a supplement that runs about $13, we picked up some of this for Nia. After a few days of the yogurt, I stopped blacking out. After about a week and a half, I was feeling almost normal.

It's been about 3 weeks and I feeling much better! I'm back to doing normal things like cooking, cleaning, shopping, and baby nesting. I haven't been brave enough to drive yet. I think it may take a bit of time before I am comfortable getting behind the wheel after blacking out so many times.

Bed Rest Changes Things

Surprisingly, I am actually finding stuff to keep me busy while on bed rest. However, I have deep routed desires to get out of the house. I'm not on total bed rest. I am allowed to sit up with my feet up, and probably do so more than I should. I do get out every once in while, mostly to church and occasionally a dinner. I have made 2 very short trips to the craft store, hence the reason I have a few things to keep me busy. There have been many changes in our house hold to accommodate the rest of the family and myself while I spend so much time laying down. We are normally a very green, cloth diapering, healthy food eating type of family. Since a lot of the cooking, cleaning and laundry have fallen onto John and Nia, we have more throw away items and more fast food. We have paper towels for the first time in years and Cameron is in disposables. I have to continuously remind myself that I can't expect my family to do things the way I would do them, Especially with items such as cleaning and cooking.

School in this season of our lives looks a bit different also. I'm focusing on language arts and math (that really hasn't changed). Our multiple times a week field trips are totally gone for a while though, along with play dates, my coffee Mondays with other moms, extra curricular activities and the two homeschool groups we joined this year. I have decided to put science on hold until our new little bundle arrives. History is done mostly through videos right now and we haven't been doing to many projects to go along with them, just worksheets. Instead of using the table to work with manipulatives, Anara uses  a tray on my bed. She actually seems to think this last one is kind of cool. The kids are in charge of what they do for art and P.E. Previously we have always tried to be done with school work by around 4 or 4:30. Now we do it at any time I feel up for it, even if that means we are making fraction pizzas on my bed at 10 p.m.

We have also had to move things around a bit. It was to challenging keeping Cameron out of all the homeschool stuff while it was in our one large main room. It is now all in the master bedroom so little fingers will leave it alone. We also invested in a few more organizational items so I can tell the kids exactly where to get things. Our furniture in the main room has been moved around so I can keep a better eye on Mr. Mischievous when I'm in the living room.

Lately we have started hosting a few more things than usual at our house. The thought is that if I can't get out, then we will just have to have people in. It's been fun. We have one set of friends that is at our house at least once a week and often more. This has been a huge blessing to me. They haven't told me, but I know this is a conscious choice on their part. Since meeting them a couple of years ago, they have always been very busy people.

My children are learning things through this that I would have never even thought threw exactly how to teach them.

They are learning compassion and how to truly be helpful. I need so much help right now and they are the ones providing most of that help. Sania is the main cook for the house right now. Through the week she makes sure everyone has breakfast, lunch, dinner and even snacks. Anara is usually my go get'er. She fetches nearly everything I could possibly need from books to bottles of water. This is on top of keeping up with school work and chasing after Cameron all day.

They are learning the importance of seizing the moment. More and more often lately, I feel like the walking dead. However, sometimes I feel almost normal. At those times we try to do something a little more fun. Within the confines of my bed rest rules that is. Today, John took me out for breakfast then this afternoon he drove us all to the park and I watched the kids play as I sat in car. This may not seem like much, but when doctors orders keep you confined to the only the ground floor of a small townhouse, any excursion, even ones where you don't leave the car, are exciting.

They are learning how to work together. It takes real team work for the girls to keep an eye on Cameron and get a gluten free lunch or dinner ready. It also takes a tremendous amount of effort and teamwork to keep little Cameron entertained while school work gets done.

Maternity/Due Date Count Down

You may have noticed the little maternity counter on the side of the blog that counts down how many days remain until my due date. On day 101, I decided to take a little break from the norm and make a counter of our own for the house. We also watched 101 Dalmatians. If this had not been so impromptu, I may have planned a few more activities for the day.

This is the latest image we have of the newest member of family!

I find it really exciting and very sweet how the kids interact with their pre-born sibling. Every time Cameron is on my lap he lifts up my shirt and talks to my stomach. This is really cute unless we have company. He also pushes gently trying to get his little brother to push back, which actually happens more often than not. Both of the girls also talk to my belly. Nia generally says something short like, "Hi, baby," "I love you little guy," or "I can't wait to hold you and get out of doing school work while I take naps with you." Anara has a different approach.  She is determined to make herself this baby's most favorite person. She thinks the key to this is to be the person that spends the most time talking to him. I can usually expect 2 to 5 conversations or stories from Anara to the baby each day that last anywhere from 3 to 15 minutes.

rest

With this pregnancy, I am at risk for preterm labor. So, I have a nurse that comes to my house weekly to give me a hormone injection. The injection stops me from cramping and having contractions. However, around day 5 or 6 after the injection they come back. Today, my nurse and I decided to move the injections from every 7th day to every 6th day in hopes at keeping them at bay. Today I received my injection, but my cramps and contractions have not gone away yet. Sometimes it takes til the next day before they stop. When they start I have 2 options: 1) lie down or 2) sit with my feet up. At any rate, I am out of commission for the rest of day. I find this very frustrating. With the baby coming, there is so much to get done. With 2 kids home already, there is so much to already do. I get cranky when this happens. My husband gets stressed. Then I start to get sad.